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oh yeah, one more thing.


oh yeah, one more thing.

we heard our kid's tiny heart beating on tuesday. it sounded like he was transmitting from a submarine...or U-boat. maybe our kid's a german. it was so crazy...there's a tiny seafarer inside my body. weird...

(the lady in the picture is donna, my midwife. the thing in her hand is the heartbeat-counter thing)

more baby news...it's all i think about


so...i'm a college graduate. i'm now officially a good catch. a trophy wife, if you will. as evidenced in the picture at right.


yesterday, i finally decided to further investigate what appeared to be a rotting pile of noodles topped with a bottle cap in our parking lot. lo and behold, it was not noodles, but rather my tassle, looking rather bewildered and orphaned after sitting around in the muddy, rainy parking lot for almost a week. it had been run over and hope for recovery was dim. however, my wonderful, loving husband spent time at work today washing it and untangling it and it looks like its old, cheerful, citron self.

on a similar note, our kid must be a freaking genius, having already walked in a college graduation ceremony whilst in utero. i bet it'll be born with a pair of spectacles and a severe case of near-sightedness. and an allergy to sunlight.

i'm very excited - i'm going garage-saling with marnie tomorrow to get some reptarwear. while my kid may be a genius, it will by no means be too good for 10-cent onesies. i wish you could dress fetuses...think how cute little dockers would be for a tiny softball-sized human. although, it might be kind of awkward trying to actually dress the little fella...

as a final fyi: as little reptar has had his mean-spirited way with my skin, i have a feeling i will post very few "during pregnancy/pre-accutane" photos. blech.

eating my words.





congratulations, david cook. andrew will growl with approval at your success, i'm sure.

i bet david archuleta's dad cried and cried. i have the sneaking suspicion that he's probably somewhat of a sore loser.

gofig.

there's not really a whole lot to tell.

the kid is looking more and more like a beer gut, and less and less like a normal body and not at all like a pregger body yet. watch, i'll find out that i haven't really been pregnant, i've just had really bad gas for the last three and a half months.

further, i graduate this weekend, and as a good senior should, i have my cap and gown and have procrastinated on my last undergrad assignment. it was due april 11. still not done. you do the math.

finally, i'm waiting to hear that david archuleta won american idol, if only to see an autistic kid have a meltdown tomorrow. he wants to take a helicopter ride with david cook. which will probably be an unlikelihood if only because andrew* would be too scared to take a helicopter ride and not because david cook wouldn't be available. if he's anything like katherine mcphee, i foresee plenty of free time in his first-runner-up schedule very soon.

roll out those crazy, lazy, hazy days of summer...


so todd has officially graduated and i am married to a college man. or, a diploma man. can't say i don't want to brag a little bit.

during the ceremony, after lauren and i counted all the chairs for the graduates, judged a guy in uniform for the sport of it, and haughtily disdained a very confused professor who apparently couldn't count to eight, she leaned over and whispered, "i don't really know anyone who's graduated from college other than todd. i mean, seriously." quite true, now that i think about it. apparently they're harder to come by than we might think. which was only further evidenced by the fact that, of the 640 chairs set out for the graduates, only a roughly estimated 3/5 were filled, and of the 32 chairs set up on stage for professors in fruity outfits, only about 20 were filled. that's a statistically interesting bit of information.

(maybe one of those empty seats was reserved for Can't Count, but he couldn't find his way to the stage or something. they must've had a sale on Ph.D.'s the day he got his.)

in other news, i believe i'm pulling through the first trimester FINALLY. i haven't puked in days, and while this kid has yet to tell me where it hid those 14 pounds i'm suddenly missing, i'm feeling much better! although, when you're pregnant, it apparently makes everyone around you think that you want to hear their most horrifying, gruesome, unbelievable, and in any other scenario completely inappriopriate stories. after a woman at work so lovingly shared the story of the time she got pregnant, miscarried, and had a historectomy as a result, i started to get a little uneasy about miscarriage.

so what did i decide to do? what any uneasy person with relatively little information on a given topic SHOULD do: go online and do a google search! so, today's biggest problem is that i think i've miscarried. not because of any symptoms i have, of course, but because of scary lady and scary website.

word to the wise: keep any stories about situations that you wouldn't wish on your best friend to yourself. pretend childbirth is like a stroll through a meadow on a june day. there are no such things as "involuntary cesareans," "miscarriages," "premature labor," "pushing a watermelon-sized baby through your vagina," etc. in a june meadow. there is singing. and laughter. and all the birds flying around you and singing harmony and braiding your hair. that is what i believe childbirth will be like.

the end of an era

well friends and family -- tonight i have the privilege of wrapping a nice little bow on top of this madness called college. that's right, i get to walk across the stage and receive my fake diploma and handshake (the handshake ironically may be equally as disingenuine as the diploma), only to receive my real accreditation via snail mail weeks later after the final votes have been tallied. i hope america voted to keep me on for another week, it's "neil diamond" week and i just know my version of "forever in blue jeans" will knock yer socks off! i have my parents to thank for the ambition to finish this degree now 11 years in the making, give or take a few. i have my God to thank for the ability to achieve the success i have.

i really do pray these degrees (sociology and psychology/criminal justice studies) give me the opportunity to provide for my family. either way, school's out forever! praise the LORD, i never thought the day would actually arrive.

in other news, paige keeps losing weight (mind you this is an interesting strategy of child development), so keep that in your prayers if you know our Father.

You and Me and the Baby Make Three Tonight....

So, as you've probably heard, we're expecting to pop out a kid in about 28 weeks, give or take some time. (And if you haven't heard, it's probably because you live in a hole. Get out and live a little. Read the paper. Go through the drive through. Hear about our kid.)

We're pretty excited. What could be better than a version of the two of us smpooshed into one tiny, smelly, dripping package? And what could be better than toting it around for 9 months in my previously unlived-in uterus? As I said, we're very excited.

So, as an official announcement for you hole-dwellers, the shetland (whom we've dubbed Reptar) is expected to land somewhere between November 30 (so says the doctor) and December 6 (so says the mama). Tomorrow I will be starting my 11th week, so we're almost done with the first trimester. Our kid at this point (not accounting for our usual luck) should look like a real person, with a tiny face and hands and feet and a too-huge-for-its-body head (it gets that from me). It no longer has a tail. Its hands are no longer ping pong paddles and its eyes are no longer considered "buds." We have on our hands (or, more literally, in my uterus) a real, tiny, shetland person. Again, that's not taking into account my tendency for oddity.

Who knows? Our kid could come out looking like the dog on Harry Potter. We'd still love it. We'd have to put it in charge of the gates of the underworld, of course, but that's just par for the course when a human births a three-headed CGI dog.

Anyway, we just thought we'd make an announcement and start a family blog. And having a baby gave us a good excuse to do both. So we figured, what the heck.